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Top 30 signs you are a WHACKO Hockey parent


Top 30 Signs you are a WHACKO Hockey parent


  1. Has more miles on his ’02 minivan than a ’66 Chevy.
  2. Has had to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament because Dad was in a different state with kid #2 at a tournament and Mom had kid #3 two states away in a 3rd tournament all in one weekend.
  3. Knows every single kid on every single team your child has ever played on…… But doesn’t have a clue who his school mates are.
  4. You ground your kids for a week (except for hockey practice).
  5. You chuckle when a co-worker says his kids play soccer.
  6. Take out a home loan to pay for all the equipment and expenses.
  7. Complain about ice time when only 10 skaters showed up to that game.
  8. Plans birth of next child so he has a good hockey birthday.
  9. Shouts “Watch this, watch this” every time Junior touches the puck in practice.
  10. New baby’s first word is Zamboni.
  11. Needs new personalized license plates (again) since child changed teams.
  12. Volume of hockey related e-mail at work exceeds business related e-mails….during the off season.
  13. Uses the term “illegal recruiting” in a post discussing 96s
  14. All computer passwords begin with “hockey” or contains child’s number.
  15. Has been barred from more than one rink on more than one occasion
  16. All photos of family vacations have a Canadian flag in background!
  17. Keeps stats …………………… practice!
  18. Can rationalize spending $159 on a Synergy for a 9 year old but won’t spend $5 on a Birthday Card for his wife.
  19. Has more Hockey Mom T-shirts and Sweat Shirts than shoes.
  20. Hate sending Christmas card, because the stats only show half The season!
  21. Had to explain that the pilgrims didn’t play hockey, and Thanksgiving is actually a holiday, not just a tournament!
  22. Purchases a new $135.00 stick because old one didn’t have any goals left in it.
  23. Can’t compose a sentence, or have a conversation, that doesn’t Use at least one of the following words: “elite”, “select”, “AAA”, Nationals”, “premier” or “tryouts”
  24. Thinks a ’93 Merlot Select is a new NJ hockey team, and wants to know when tryouts are?
  25. Knows a few 5 year olds that are good but “lack focus”
  26. Has had kids ask if Christmas is “home or away”
  27. Wants to try for another, so we can start younger!
  28. Asked to decide between try-out and first communion- asked church what his options were!
  29. Received a letter from AAA Automobile Club and called for more info about tryouts.
  30. When someone asks how old your children are, you respond “I have A 93 and a 90